CIA Director David Petraeus resigns, cites extramarital affair

CIA Director David Petraeus resigns, cites extramarital affair
Xinhua News Agency asked that I embargo for release the confirmation that Edwin Wilson has joined the Butthole in the Wall Gang after faking his death. Edwin Wilson is a welcomed member of the Butthole in the Wall Gang and is in excellent health for a man his age, who has endured so much stress while incarcerated for decades, and did quite a bit of boozing and drug experimentation. He had quite a nose for Coca Cola but has curtailed that activity due to heart problems. Colonel Moamar "Kentucky Fried Chicken" el Kadafi and his sons have beach villas next door to Edwin Wilson and enjoy fishing and sailing with their old pal, when his sons are NOT infected with STDs and do not scream at the top of their lungs when urinating at night. Edwin Wilson told all of Kadafi's sons to keep their peckers in their pockets when it comes to chasing skirts. Edwin Wilson has also had quite a few STDs in his time and finds the Kadafi boys quite amusing.